What I remember:
One of the earliest memories that I have about victimization, was when I heard about my grandmother, *Janet. At a young age, I remember wishing for a grandmother. I knew I was not like other children because, I did not have grandparents, like my friends did....My cousin, told me the story of why we did not have a grandmother, and ever since, my life has been changed. All of the information in this post is true, and has been reconstructed with memories from people who knew Janet.
Background:
My grandmother was the oldest of her mother's children (I think there were about thirteen of them) and actually had some of her children, while my great-grandmother was having children. My grandmother, Janet, had four children and lived in the Eastern part of the United States with my grandfather. After sometime, it was discovered that Janet had some "mental health concerns" and a decision was made, by my grandfather and his family, to send Janet back to her family for care. My grandfather was left with four children, three girls and one son, under about 10 years and younger.
My grandmother ended up being 'institutionalized' for sometime and was released, when her situation improved. According to her sister, one night, my grandmother went out to the store and never returned. My great-grandmother called the police; however, a missing black woman in the 1960's was 'not at the top of the list'. Several days later, Janet was found in an alley, behind her parents' house, beaten, bruised, raped by multiple men, and left for dead. She was found behind her home, in a coma for several days...no one even saw her.
Janet was transported to the hospital, and died about two days later, from the trauma that her body had sustained. One of her children, my aunt, who was about 15, went to see her, and could not identify Janet as her mother. The day after my aunt saw my grandmother, Janet died.
All of this was told to me by my family. Prior to being told, I use to question my mother about why I did not have a grandmother. She would never give me a direct answer, she would just look sad and distanced herself from answering the question. It was not until I was older that I realized the impact of what happened.
Who Am I:
'Till this day, my grandmother's murder is still unsolved and my life has been impacted. I wonder, how my life would have been like if I could twirl my fingers in my grandmother's long hair. Eat her fresh baked cookies. Or smell her perfume when she hugged me and rocked me back to sleep after a nightmare. Mostly, I wonder what type of person I would have been if my mother had a mother to train her on how to become a mother (don't get me wrong, I have an excellent mother, but she, like I, is also a victim in this).....What would my life be like? Would I be working on a Masters in Criminal Justice, with a Specialization in Victimology. Who do you think I would be?
Please add your comments!
Thanks,
~Roberta
*name changed
Image borrowed from: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/3236061127_44d5727911.jpg
Thank you for sharing Janet's powerfully tragic story. As work through our pain towards healing, I think we should embrace its transformative power to overcome victimhood. I ask myself, what would Janet want for her children and their descendants? I believe I know the answer -- that they live loving lives of joy and service. I intend to dedicate myself to those noble endeavors and worthwhile goals.
ReplyDeleteI know personal details of Janet's* story for she was my oldest sister. She was the oldest of fifteen children. I was the seventh child. We were a close knit family and my sister Janet was the best mother she could be under her unfortunant circumstances. After she was divorced from her husband, whom she married at an early age; (around nineteen or twenty); she was unable to care for her children. Because her ex-husband remained in the Air Force as a career; she was released from the Military with a Medical Disability. Her Mother and Father-in-Law, took on the raising of the four children in spite of the large family they already had.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom and Dad, with the help of my brother, Bill, would take the drive to see her when she was in the hospital as often as they could. They arranged for her to come home and live with us on a trial basis. If things went okay she would come to live with us permanently. However, the tragedy of her brutal murder occurred and she would never be reunited with her lovely children.
I am happy to report that dispite this terrible tragedy, God saw that these children were reared with lots of loving care. As a result of this love and dedication of their beloved paternal grandparents they thrived. They were able to take advantage of their parents Military benefits and to get educations and have all turned out to have noble careers in City, State and Federal Government, as well as public and private corporations. They are upstanding, God-fearing ladies and gents; each whom are raising well-rounded children. I am proud to say we have developed a close and bonded relationship over the years and I am proud to know that I belong to a family that is rich with lots of love and compassion for each other.
Thank you Roberta for sharing this moving tribute to your Great-grandmother. I know she is so proud of all of her children. I salute you all. May God continue to showering his blessings upon you all.
Lovingly,
Aunt Myra
Thank you for sharing one of many stories that you will probably come upon along your path. I appreciate your dedication and committment to victims rights and look forward to reading many more posts and receiving notifications about this most important subject.
ReplyDeleteIfetayo R. Azibo